What Dads Think of the Epidural

When I told my parents I was pregnant, one of the first things my dad said to me was, “be sure to get the epidural.” 

At first, I was in shock. Why would my dad give me pregnancy advice? He has never given birth; how should he know if I need the epidural or not? I took his advice like a grain of salt and did what I wanted. It wasn’t until I gave birth that I found out my dad was absolutely right, but not in the way I originally thought. 

The epidural wasn’t quite necessarily for the pain, although it was for me. It wasn’t to speed up the pushing process or help with anything like that. 

You see, my dad saw my mom give birth 5 times. The first time, she received no pain medicine at all; it was completely natural. It was a quick and brutal birth that left both parents scarred. 

I was their second birth, and the same thing happened, but I came a whole lot faster. Even though my mom received no epidural the first two times, she absolutely wanted to. Unfortunately, her births were too quick, so they couldn’t administer it in time. 

Thankfully during the third birth, she was able to get an epidural, and it was a day and night difference for both my parents. 

No husband or partner wants to see their wife in excruciating pain. I will never forget that look in my husband’s eyes as he watched me suffer while in labor. 

When I was in the hospital waiting to give birth, at first it wasn’t so bad. I thought I would be able to handle it. But then the pain came, and boy did it come. 

I couldn’t sleep, which meant my husband also couldn’t sleep. He was there constantly trying to do everything in his power to take away my pain. 

I saw how depleted he felt, knowing he couldn’t do anything to help my pain. And that broke my husband. 

The epidural thankfully took away my pain, and thus, my husband’s as well. 

I could smile and laugh again! Slowly I saw the pain and fear release from my husband’s eyes. 

Here are a few of his feelings about the epidural:

“I was afraid for my wife not really knowing much about the procedure. I heard rumors of women getting horrible side effects because of it, and it freaked me out. I had really mixed feelings because it could potentially help my wife with labor but also cause her to experience more pain if the procedure didn’t go as planned. I didn’t know what to do. I felt powerless, not knowing how to help her or how to ease her pain. But watching her smile again and have joy while giving birth made it all worth it.” 

My dad shared those exact feelings. He felt powerless with helping my mom, as I’m sure most husbands are while their wives are giving birth. 

While it was entirely up to me whether or not I wanted the epidural during my second birth, I made sure to include my husband in the process. 

It was our birth experience, after all. Our husbands feel pain during the process too, just not in the same physical sense. 

Every mother and birth experience is different and special in its own way. Mine was special in knowing that my husband needed that relief from the epidural just as much as I did. 

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