List of Self-Limiting Beliefs That Affect Moms + How To Reframe Them
What is a self-limiting belief and who has them?
Here is your ultimate guide on self-limiting beliefs. Learn all about what they are and see a huge list of self-limiting beliefs that affect moms.
With the top ten limiting beliefs examples, you will be able to identify the limiting beliefs in you and learn how to overcome and frame these negative beliefs.
What is a self-limiting belief?
A self-limiting belief is a belief that prevents you from feeling content or reaching your true potential.
It is how you view yourself and the world around you. Limiting beliefs are thoughts that you absolutely believe to be true, even if they are not in reality. It the negative beliefs you have in others and yourself that hold you back.
They can be an underlying cause of depression and anxiety, and they often plague new moms!
Sometimes you know a few of your self-limiting beliefs, while other times, they are buried deep in the subconscious mind.
Where do limiting beliefs come from?
Our beliefs shape the way we see and interact with the world.
They are formed by our past experiences, often in childhood, as a way for our minds to keep us safe.
For example, if people often talked across us when we were children, we might develop the self-limiting belief that we don’t have anything interesting to say.
This belief prevents us from speaking up to protect ourselves from the painful experience of being talked over.
However, as adults, this belief limits us because it stops us from sharing our ideas.
Some limiting belief examples for mothers are things like:
- Thinking that you are a bad mother
- Feeling like a failure because you haven’t done everything you planned
- Feeling selfish when you need time alone
These beliefs are often unconscious, so you might not know that you have them until you try to better your life.
However, they will impact how you feel, often causing mothers to feel overwhelmed, anxious and view themselves negatively.
List of Self-Limiting Beliefs Examples
Let’s run through a list of the top ten limiting beliefs for new moms and how you might start to identify and reframe them.
These are very common limiting beliefs that most people, especially mothers will experience at some point on their motherhood journey.
Whether you have one or you have them all, it doesn’t mean you are failing. Becoming aware of them is always the first step. It helps you work on overcoming those negative beliefs.
So, here are the most common self-limiting beliefs examples!
1. “I don’t know what I’m doing”
Most new parents are afraid that they don’t know what they’re doing, leading to increased anxiety and being overly cautious with your little one.
Unfortunately, it becomes a self-limiting belief. Your little one will pick up on your anxiety, which may make them cry more or become more unsettled. Your child becoming agitated, in turn, re-enforces your belief that you don’t know what you’re doing and causes you to feel more anxious.
If you feel anxious around your child and realize that feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing is causing it, it’s important to acknowledge that the feeling has some validity. You probably don’t know precisely the right thing to do all the time; but no parent does.
However, not being confident doesn’t automatically mean that you will get it wrong! Trust yourself. You have a special mother intuition; don’t be afraid to use it.
Try making a list of other times in your life when you had to figure something out or learn something new, and it went well, and believe that you can do it again with your child.
2. “Taking time for myself is selfish”
Many women internalize the belief that our primary role is to make sure that everyone else in our family is okay, often to their detriment.
The truth is that you can’t be the parent you want to be if you are exhausted and burned out.
Burnout makes it almost impossible to engage with your children or anyone else in your life, and you’re more likely to become angry and irritable.
Make time to do something that makes you happy. This will make you feel more fulfilled, improving your mood and making you a better and more present parent.
So taking time for yourself is the opposite of being selfish.
You know the cliche saying, “You cannot pour from an empty cup” but it is so true! Practice self-care every day, even for a couple minutes at a time.
3. “If I can’t do everything, I’m a failure”
Do you find that your to-do list only ever gets longer? And the more it grows, the more like a failure you feel?
Most of us have a problem because we try to do too much. We might feel like our worth as a person, and our achievements are somehow intertwined, so we try to do more and more to prove that we have value.
Challenging this self-limiting belief comes in two parts.
First, remember that you have worth. Whether you do everything on your list or not. You are a unique, wonderful human being who deserves to be happy.
You are worthy every single day regardless of what you do or accomplish.
Read that again and again until you believe it.
Second, be more thoughtful with your to-do list.
It’s worth putting time aside daily to review the items there and work out what you can realistically do given your current capacity (taking into account things like your mood, your kid’s mood, whether you have help).
Then, be ruthless, and remove the stuff from there that you don’t have to get done today.
You are a super mom when you keep the house clean, have a nice healthy dinner made, and workout. But, you are also a super mom when you lay on the couch watching tv with your kid all day long.
4. “I’m a bad mom”
Ouch. This one is particularly crippling.
It’s also a belief resulting from black and white thinking.
Nobody is either a good mom or a bad mom all of the time. We’re all human beings who have good days and bad days.
If you find yourself thinking, ‘I’m a bad mom,’ it’s probably because of a specific event. For example, maybe you can’t get your child to stop crying, or maybe you are getting frustrated.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that a bad day doesn’t define you, and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad mother!
Try to reframe the thought to make it more accurate and based on the situation.
In the example of the crying child, the reframe might be “I am feeling frustrated that the baby won’t stop crying, and I feel sad that I don’t know how to comfort her right now.” Or, you can always say, “I am not a bad mom because my child is crying. I am doing a good job.”
Making a more accurate assessment is more hopeful because it leaves room for things to get better in the future.
The problem isn’t that you are a bad mom. The problem is the situation you are experiencing.
5. “I can’t do this”
Your house is a mess, the kids are screaming, you can’t even sit down without your children needing something, and you are burnt out like never before. The only thing you can hear in your mind is “I can’t do this” over and over again.
When things get hard, we typically will tell ourselves this. This is mainly because we truly believe we are not capable of being successful and can’t do hard things.
But, you can!
One way to rewrite this negative belief is to stop, breathe, and try to remember past experiences where you thought you couldn’t do something, but you kept trying and you did it.
6. “My child is better off without me”
This is one of the worst limiting beliefs you can have, and it often comes from a serious mental health illness.
If you are having these thoughts, you need help from a professional. This thought is horrible and really cripples you, sometimes to the point of no return.
Here are a few hotlines you can reach out to if you find yourself saying these thoughts:
- Suicide Hotline or dial 988
- Postpartum Support International (you can call or text a mental health professional at no cost!)
Just remember, you are the best mom for your kids, despite your flaws.
7. “I am not enough”
How often did you tell yourself this growing up? Whether it was in sports, school, friendships, relationships, or anything else, it only reinforced it to yourself.
So now that you are a mom, it becomes the first thought you hear all the time.
Just remember that you are worthy and enough no matter what you say, think or do.
There is a reason you are your child’s mother. They need you and only you. You are more than enough for them.
This should be something you tell yourself every single day until you believe it.
8. “I am messing up my kids”
Did you just yell at your child and then feel really guilty? This happens to me all the time. I know the impact that yelling has and then I feel even more guilt like I am traumatizing my children and they will be messed up for life.
This can also be seen as catastrophizing thinking where I think the absolute worst is going to happen.
But in reality, will it traumatize me kids? Perhaps. But am I doing my best with the situation and stress that I am given? Yes.
If you keep trying to improve, you are not messing up your kids. You are teaching them that it is okay to be human and that it is normal to make mistakes.
9. “Everyone is judging me”
Thinking that no matter what you do, you will be judged by someone is a hard thing to experience. This often leaves you feeling anxious and overwhelmed to even leave the house!
This negative belief can come from comparing on social media or from another self-limiting belief that you are a bad mom.
The truth is that you probably will be judged by someone no matter how hard you try. But, that doesn’t have to affect you.
The best way to overcome this is to stop judging yourself.
10. “I’m all alone”
This self-limiting belief can take on many forms. You can truly believe you are alone and no one wants to help you.
Or, you can think you are alone in your feelings of being a bad mom. This is usually when you start to compare yourself with other moms. You see them always happy and perfect while you are struggling just to survive the day.
Whichever thought you are experiencing, both are crippling and extremely exhausting. If you truly believe you are all alone, it only makes you fall deeper into despair.
Do you have friends or family close by or even someone to simply talk to on the phone? Reach out to your support group.
If you don’t have a support group, maybe it is time to get a therapist or go to the online community.
There are plenty of resources out there all over blogs, websites, and social media nowadays that even if you don’t feel like you have people in your life, you have resources to help you not feel so alone.
How do you reframe beliefs?
It is incredibly hard to overcome your limiting beliefs.
The problem with self-limiting beliefs is that they shape your worldview without you being aware of it most of the time.
Here are a few ideas to help you overcome, reframe and rewrite your self-limiting beliefs.
Identify Your Beliefs
To reframe the negative beliefs you have, you first need to become aware of them.
Some ways to identify your list of limiting beliefs are:
Notice how you feel. If you find there are times in your day when you feel overwhelmed, angry, anxious, or depressed, take the time to acknowledge the feeling rather than trying to brush it off. It’s helpful to notice which situations trigger emotional reactions for you, as this can give you an excellent place to start when identifying the underlying belief.
Notice how you behave. If you find that you act in ways that you don’t like, for example, snapping at your children or avoiding confrontation, this is a good time for self-reflection. Try to notice what was driving the behavior and think about what belief might have been the cause.
After reading this list of the top ten limiting beliefs, do you have any? Just from reading this article you are already well on your way. You will start to recognize your internal thoughts just from reading!
Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are always the best thing to do to reframe limiting beliefs. They are incredibly beneficial for every aspect of your life.
You can make your own simply by rewording every negative thought you have to say a positive thought instead. For example:
- I am a bad mom -> I am a good mom
- I and not enough -> I am enough
- I am all alone -> I have help when I need it
- I can’t do this -> I can do hard things
You can always buy some premade ones that resonate with you as well. Hang them up around your hoes where you can read and repeat them multiple times a day.
Keep a Journal
Take some time, even just a few minutes, to write down all of the beliefs you are consciously aware of, paying particular attention to the most important ones to you.
Then, take some time to consider whether these beliefs serve you or whether they are limiting.
Journaling helps you to become more aware of your feelings and is a great record for when you go to therapy for further help.
Keep Going
Once you have become aware of a self-limiting belief, you can think about where it might have come from and whether or not it is still serving you.
If it isn’t serving you, you can try to reframe the belief to one that better suits you and helps you feel the way you want to feel and take the actions you want to take. Of course, this will take practice and repetition, but the positive impact on your life is well worth it!
Continue these reframing exercises with all of your self-limiting beliefs, and keep a journal of the experience. Keeping a record will help you to see how far you’ve come, how much your life has improved, and give you the motivation to keep going.
It is challenging and takes a lot of conscious effort. Reframing limiting beliefs exercises are also not very fun either. But, they are incredibly worth it!
Don’t give up; just keep going. You are doing a great job!
It is incredibly motivating and empowering when you start to recognize your inner thoughts and rewrite them. You will start to feel happier and feel like you are a good mom. If you are trying to reframe your self-limiting beliefs, you can do it!
Hopefully, this list of self-limiting beliefs examples have helped you to recognize your inner dialogue that is not serving you and helped you start to reframe and overcome them.
Remember Mama, you got this!
